I believe paradox is at the heart of the spiritual life. Lose your life to find it, says Jesus, and my own life and that of many folks I know attest to this unwelcome yet exhilarating truth.

One of my favorite writers, Thomas Moore, author of “Care of the Soul” and the new book, “A Life at Work” is particularly artful and provocative in his understanding of the paradox that calls to us.

(Shameless moment of promotion: Thomas Moore will be at Marble on Saturday, May 10 for a wonderful day of conversation on soul.  Information and registration here. You may still be in time to get his new book free with your registration.)

Moore has written of the “antithetical” self, something so different from our normal sense of ourselves that we often “feel both conflict and resource” in relation to this thing that makes us feel passionate. He explains: “We may each have an idea of who we should be, knowing the seeds of a self for many years. But our idea of who we are and the direction we ought to go may be entirely thwarted by circumstances and fate. We may discover that we are most ourselves when we are furthest from the self we think we ought to be.”

Let that sink in. What might the implications be for your life? Is there some way you surprise yourself, do things that are not “like you” that move you deeply? By nature a card-carrying introvert, I am nonetheless most fully alive in (occasional, let’s not overdo it) moments in front of people. Some older, smaller sense of myself drops, and I in turn drop into a greater mystery that is beyond me.

Speaking of dropping, there is a Biblical metaphor here, too. When Jesus urged the fishermen to “drop their nets” and follow him, he was in essence saying leave prior identities behind, and take on something you cannot imagine, but that is also utterly compelling. As one commentator has noted, he was not inviting people looking for something to do to follow him; he approached those already happily ensconced in their lives and work and said, in effect, drop it all.

“Conflict and resource” in the face of that which compels. Are we meant to reconcile our mixed response, or live in its rich tension? Where in your life do you need to “drop it,” to follow another call, to wrestle with an invitation to new life that is paradox itself?