There are lots of reasons to be part of a church community, but here are two core ones:

Having a place for tears and authenticity.

I was reminded of both last weekend, when my husband and I led the Marble Committed Couples retreat for the second year in a row. From the beginning, people shared from a place of deep truth—and many tears. This made for a time of palpable Presence, deep reassurance, and no small amount of humor, actually.

Being real will do that to and for you: it generates the full range of emotions that come from being fully alive. I recently heard a quote about retreats, but it also applies to other aspects of church life: “People are not coming for theology on retreats; they are coming for authenticity.”

Ideally, authenticity requires a place where your internal truth is welcomed and received. This may sound like a luxury; I mean, how many places can you speak freely and be yourself without fear? Jesus, quoted in the Gospel of Thomas, makes it clear it is not a luxury, but a necessity:

“If you bring forth what is within you,
what is within you will save you.
If you do not bring forth what is within you,
what you do not bring forth will destroy you.”

Hmmm. Not overly pastoral, some might say, but life-saving nonetheless. And you don’t need a retreat, or a group, to honor what is within. It could be a journaling exercise you do, a cry you let forth in privacy, a conversation with a dear friend who really knows how to listen.

In a couple of weeks I will be at one of my most crucial “churches”: a Dominican convent chapel in northern California where the last time I sat in this very beloved space and heard a Taize concert too, I was reduced to unstoppable, blubbering tears. Soaked my shirt. Can’t and don’t do that anywhere else. One visit there lasts a long time. Don’t need to know what it means; do need the authentic experience—and the tears.

Think of your own life: Where have you experienced the gift of tears, the grace of authenticity—either yours or someone else’s? Ken Medema, the amazing musician who will be with us at Marble this Sunday, in both worship and the 1:30 class, has a line from one of his songs regarding being in church: “If this is not a place where tears are understood, then where shall I go to cry?”

This week: Come to Marble…bring any tears. Listen to the cry of the people in your life. Also listen to those who you do not know. Those who Jesus listened to.